Partnership
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Yes, AND...
PartnershipPartnership, what it is, what it looks like, how to foster it, why it's important - this has been an underlying current in my work and my life for as long as I can remember. The people and resources that have influenced my understanding, approach and desire for partnership are vast. I'll share a few below.
Non-Violent Communications (NVC) - Marhsall Rosenberg I was originally thrown off by the naming of "non-violent communication". That was until I became aware of the water that most of us swim in is seeped in a form of violence, which is why we don't see it, it's everywhere in big and small ways. We're taught in the West especially, to be assertive and bold, to claim what we want, and to do so in a way that often negates what others want and need or that they are even in the room! The late, and yes, great, Marshall Rosenberg found a way to lead with truth AND vulnerability. To be clear about our needs and what powers them, the energy behind them, AND to invite others into the dance of helping us meet those needs. Using NVC we don't have to cut down the forest to be warmed by a fire. We can get clear about our need for physical protection and understand our feelings that are propelling us to get this need met. Then we can articulate our need in a way that allows us to be in partnership with others, so that they see our needs as a gift. It's both a gentle and powerful approach that has pulled me through many a tough time and brought greater closeness in my relationships. Conflict Partnship - Dudley WeeksDudley Weeks, in his Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution talks about finding the bigger context of what the group of people experiencing a conflict have in common together. That the conflict itself is a partnership. What a great way to reframe what can be a challenge for most of us. Knowing some of Dudley's story, it gives me confidence to use and pass on these tools because he's used them successfully in places like Northern Ireland and Palistine where conflict has brewed for generations. I also think differently about conflict - that I am in partnership with the other person I may be stuggling with - AND I've learned and experienced that the conflict itself, has a role. That there is a desire for resolution and movement forward encapsulated in the conflict itself. It reminds me that I'm not alone and help is at hand. Kinship With All of Life - J. Allen Boone This little book radiates a theme that struck a cord and has stayed with me ever since I read it: that we are in partnership, in "kinship" with ALL of life. As a result I experience our cats we live with differently, I talk to the plants and trees, the herbs and vegetables that I grow. I see my role as one of helping them have a good start and care for them during their lives. I feel differently as a citizen of our planet, of Earth. I know that we all have our different roles and we are all also in this together. We're partners. Partnership Culture - Riane Eisler Riane Eisler was the one who made many of us aware, myself included, that there are at least two primary worldviews that humanity has experimented with: a Partnership Culture that has been around since the dawn of time, and the Dominator Culture which has written most of the books we're taught in school. Consequently we have been led to believe that the way the world works is via domination ("survival of the fittest", which, by-the-way, was not coined or espoused by Darwin!). Well, there is another way, a partnership culture that doesn't get as much press, but if you look around (and are taught how to look for it, as Riane Eisler teaches in the The Chalice and the Blade, and especially in her latest book: Nurturing Our Humanity: How Domination and Partnership Shape Our Brains, Lives, and Future) you'll see and experience it. Riane's studies and concepts certainly shapped how I see and approach the world and I will be forever grateful for her work.
Tao of Equus - Linda Kohanov The way of the horse. The series of books and trainings that Linda has given birth to changed my perspective in many ways. I now have a glimpse of what it might be like to be a prey animal - one that eats plants and is preyed on by other animals (in the case of the horse - mountain lions, bears, wolves, and man - in many ways). They are highly sensitive animals that notice and take in much of their surroundings, and yet are able to relax and go on grazing with out being stressed. This is a practice that I aim to foster for myself! In recorded history horses have long been the partner of humans. For our part, we haven't always been good partners to the horse, but they keep coming back, showing up and offering us their talents. One of these is the ability to hold another in non-judgement. It's a great lesson. Sense the truth about another and trust that, and take action accordingly. Yet hold no judgement. A kind of live-and-let-live attitude. In my hertitage of the ancient Celtic peoples, the Celtic Runes represent the symbol for partnership as the horse. We have so much to learn about ourselves and others from these great beings.
Non-Violent Communications (NVC) - Marhsall Rosenberg I was originally thrown off by the naming of "non-violent communication". That was until I became aware of the water that most of us swim in is seeped in a form of violence, which is why we don't see it, it's everywhere in big and small ways. We're taught in the West especially, to be assertive and bold, to claim what we want, and to do so in a way that often negates what others want and need or that they are even in the room! The late, and yes, great, Marshall Rosenberg found a way to lead with truth AND vulnerability. To be clear about our needs and what powers them, the energy behind them, AND to invite others into the dance of helping us meet those needs. Using NVC we don't have to cut down the forest to be warmed by a fire. We can get clear about our need for physical protection and understand our feelings that are propelling us to get this need met. Then we can articulate our need in a way that allows us to be in partnership with others, so that they see our needs as a gift. It's both a gentle and powerful approach that has pulled me through many a tough time and brought greater closeness in my relationships. Conflict Partnship - Dudley WeeksDudley Weeks, in his Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution talks about finding the bigger context of what the group of people experiencing a conflict have in common together. That the conflict itself is a partnership. What a great way to reframe what can be a challenge for most of us. Knowing some of Dudley's story, it gives me confidence to use and pass on these tools because he's used them successfully in places like Northern Ireland and Palistine where conflict has brewed for generations. I also think differently about conflict - that I am in partnership with the other person I may be stuggling with - AND I've learned and experienced that the conflict itself, has a role. That there is a desire for resolution and movement forward encapsulated in the conflict itself. It reminds me that I'm not alone and help is at hand. Kinship With All of Life - J. Allen Boone This little book radiates a theme that struck a cord and has stayed with me ever since I read it: that we are in partnership, in "kinship" with ALL of life. As a result I experience our cats we live with differently, I talk to the plants and trees, the herbs and vegetables that I grow. I see my role as one of helping them have a good start and care for them during their lives. I feel differently as a citizen of our planet, of Earth. I know that we all have our different roles and we are all also in this together. We're partners. Partnership Culture - Riane Eisler Riane Eisler was the one who made many of us aware, myself included, that there are at least two primary worldviews that humanity has experimented with: a Partnership Culture that has been around since the dawn of time, and the Dominator Culture which has written most of the books we're taught in school. Consequently we have been led to believe that the way the world works is via domination ("survival of the fittest", which, by-the-way, was not coined or espoused by Darwin!). Well, there is another way, a partnership culture that doesn't get as much press, but if you look around (and are taught how to look for it, as Riane Eisler teaches in the The Chalice and the Blade, and especially in her latest book: Nurturing Our Humanity: How Domination and Partnership Shape Our Brains, Lives, and Future) you'll see and experience it. Riane's studies and concepts certainly shapped how I see and approach the world and I will be forever grateful for her work.
Tao of Equus - Linda Kohanov The way of the horse. The series of books and trainings that Linda has given birth to changed my perspective in many ways. I now have a glimpse of what it might be like to be a prey animal - one that eats plants and is preyed on by other animals (in the case of the horse - mountain lions, bears, wolves, and man - in many ways). They are highly sensitive animals that notice and take in much of their surroundings, and yet are able to relax and go on grazing with out being stressed. This is a practice that I aim to foster for myself! In recorded history horses have long been the partner of humans. For our part, we haven't always been good partners to the horse, but they keep coming back, showing up and offering us their talents. One of these is the ability to hold another in non-judgement. It's a great lesson. Sense the truth about another and trust that, and take action accordingly. Yet hold no judgement. A kind of live-and-let-live attitude. In my hertitage of the ancient Celtic peoples, the Celtic Runes represent the symbol for partnership as the horse. We have so much to learn about ourselves and others from these great beings.